The Relationship We Have Around Money and How to Shift it
The Relationship We Have Around Money and How to Shift it
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Overview:
S:The growth of business and working 20 hours a week?
T:- Starting as an Art Director in New York and after working corporate for many years, knew it wasn’t for me, and I wanted more freedom in my life. Started Studying photography and life coaching things I was passionate about.
-Ended up moving and opening a studio where we offered creative services for about 6-7 years. But when two creatives run a business- we weren’t running it as a business. When we start as a creative- we want to learn about our trade but often don’t learn about business.
we then moved back to the states and eventually husband grew tired of it, and now what am I doing? What do I want to jump into? So there’s a lot of soul searching, and who do I want to serve and what’s my purpose.
at first considered myself a freelancer not an entrepreneur- and was amazed at meeting at this sales event, and an offer to join. I joined the mastermind. Every year doubling the business and only working 20 hours a week. I’m so passionate about it, but I had to be strategic about my time and what my time management would look like. Other women starting asking me, so I started teaching business strategies.
Didn’t think I’d be here, but all the multi passion and degrees and wisdom I could blend and bring and it’s unique to me and how I teach business strategy. But I’m a couple steps ahead and I can help them with their finance.
I’m focused a lot on money mindset and it was such a taboo subject in Spain, and here too- but I’m on this mission to empowering other women to being curious and find a create a community to help one another so we don’t make the same mistakes and cut down the learning curve
S: A couple things came up- a lot of people feel like a creative and not a business owner. And I’m a business owner who is a photographer, I didn’t tap into running as a business for a while and not as a hobby that sometimes brought in some money- and that’s tough because a lot of your worth comes up and for myself personally I didn’t run it as a business because I moved so often.
I wasn’t an entrepreneur at first, because I saw these people with employees and a brick and mortar.
Also you don’t need to be a master to teach- Ed Mylett- “ you’re most qualified to teach who you were yesterday.”
Every time I have multi passions it intertwines with what I’m doing.
T: And I ask clients, are you running an expensive hobby or a business? But anytime you want to turn it into a business- this goes for artists and creatives- is making it clear. Neither is wrong, for the love of art or growing a business?
S: talking about money can be difficult- so just having people around that can and want to talk about finances is huge- by breaking down that barrier- almost taboo especially for women to talk about but that’s how you grow and learn and invest.
How can we live and tell a different story relating to money?
T: telling a different story is the bottom line, have to ask where did you grow up, what were your caretakers saying, what was media, society saying and bring all of those things into perspective and then start questioning those beliefs passed onto us. In my case in Spain- the story for me as a woman was that the cousins that were boys had more advantages and as I grow up I was validating that story. That shaped me, that narrative.
I look as money as something neutral, it’s not good or bad- its part of the programming that it’s good or bad.
On a positive note in investments- women statistically are better investors. Facebook group: increase your income and impact
S: I had some of those same things implemented - not even purposefully - but scarcity, shame, and finding a man. I didn’t realize that until I became an adult- the scarcity part is still there. With my bio dad it was we didn’t have enough. He’d very often say you can fall in love with a rich man just as quick as a poor man and in fact quicker. And now we have to clear those.
T: Those are money blocks that we can unblock but what I hear is to work on our money stories. Money touches everything for most of us so we can choose to ignore money or the relationship with it or choose to start working on it.
S: it’s finding the root of why you believe it.
T: yes, and I have worked on this for 20 years now and still working on it, things still show up and it’s just less and less and the more you can expand your awareness, the less it’ll show up. And if you have a group to talk about this.
S: how do you suggest to clients and women to start clearing them?
T: the first place is to become aware, you can’t go anywhere until you become aware and get curious. Write down what you believe about money. If you’re not aware of it, you can’t change it. Then how can you solve it, what are tools and strategies to work on it and dissolve it. What ARE my top money blocks and the invitation is to go back and understand and usually we have 3-5 money blocks. Whether it’s not enough and scarcity, another is some version of money is the root of all evil.
S: I had this discussion in a small group- the quote is the love of money is the root of all evil.
T: yes! That’s in the Bible, but the programming that’s been passed down for thousands of years instead of questioning it and what the real words are.
I grew up thinking money is suspicious if you have a lot of it or that they’re bad people and judgement and wondering where did they get it- they must have something bad.
S:people still do that- especially women in conversations - that they’re selfish and not good people, they don’t give back. We tend to view them poorly- it’s almost that women value the less we have the more worthy we are. I want to be able to give back and not feel that scarcity mindset- but it still continues.
T: part of it is our own money blocks as a martyr syndrome. The science of getting rich- a book written over 100 years ago- one of things he talks about is abundance. The more money you have, the more good you to do with. It’s not that you will become more selfish- it’s am amplifier. If you’re generous you’ll be more generous, if you’re selfish you’ll become more selfish. Look for evidence of the opposite you think.
You can do so many amazing things with money. Send your kids to good schools, family vacation experiences, sending parents to good homes, and why live a martyr life?
S: something that I wanted to bring up is being a martyr but also being busy- but also who can be the most busy and it connects to our worth- and yes I believe in hustle in a growth season but it’s not sustainable so what would you say to those who think their worth is found in busyness and having to work hard constantly?
T: the underlying money block is you have to work hard for money. This is a programming we grew up with. My dad always was successful but he’d say he had to work REALLY hard for that and we’re seeing that. It’s passed down verbally, by it being modeled, and through our own experience. With our experience, we look to validate that.
First become aware again in this- are you always busy and self sabotaging. And no one is perfect, we’re going to have to work on this our whole lives. And the next step and now becomes easier to spot it and easier to stop it. And then again, look for evidence of the opposite. Example think of the people working 3 jobs and 20 hours a day, shouldn’t they be the richest?
S: what would you say and how did you create boundaries about building a life and also enjoying it and what did that look like for you?
T: I’ll say I’m still working on it, becoming a mom makes you become laser focused on my time. Times we want things to be easy without sacrifice, the question is, how bad do you want it? Example I knew I needed to network- so I carved out one day to meet up with other people. Of course there are exceptions but when you tell people and they’re open to it.
The other thing was finding strategies to setting boundaries and other thing was batching- doing what I could all at once- cooking meals at once, answering emails at a specific time and texting, turn off notifications, and controlling your time instead of being pulled in different directions and being clear of what you want to accomplish so when things show up you can say yes or no. Is it feeding towards my goals?
S: the more we understand ourselves and can set those boundaries, the better we feel about it being aligned, so when we say yes- it’s all in, and so we know what things align and what things don’t. But it’s uncomfortable for a while because you could feel you’re missing out. The more you practice the more people respect it.
It’s not easy like you said- and being able to do things that aren’t easy, and they think it’s a sign if it’s not easy, you still have to be willing to do those things that aren’t easy to push through the next level.
T: I share this with all my clients- you have to become clear when you desire something, I’m a believer that it was planted in your heart and YOUR desire. I’m also a believer if that was planted there, there’s a reason. But there’s this gap that has to be fulfilled. So we have to have to be clear on interested and committed. When you are interested- that would be great if it falls in my lap. But when you’re committed, you’re willing to do what it takes to fulfill the desire. When I say that, I mean there’s going to be a sacrifice either on time, money, energy, of something uncomfortable. You have have to learn to become comfortable in the discomfort. You’ll achieve more.
S: Building on that- once you do the uncomfortable things, the REALLY uncomfortable things become just a step ahead.
What are the usual blocks around money, I know you touched on it.
T: you have to work hard for money, there’s not enough, I’m not deserving, money is the root of all evil or corrupt, those are the top and then there’s other versions of those. The other you mentioned before was you have to choose as a spiritual person- I don’t need money.
S: so what is a shift in attitude in the I’m not good enough to value our worth a bit more.
T: a couple tools give out is to shift your perspective to having more appreciative moments or gratitude journal.
S: it’s important to validate ourselves rather than seek that validation from other people. I’ve taken a lot of your time, so how can we follow and support you today!
T:
womenstopmoneymistakes.com
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