Those in the arena

Those in the arena

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Most of us may have heard the words from Theodore Roosevelt about the man in the arena, as I’ve had gone through life, I’ve just become more connected to them, understanding and motivated by it- as it speaks to my heart so loudly-but in case you need the reminder:

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who I actually in the arena, who’s face is marred by dust and sweat and blood: who strives valiantly” who errs, who comes short again and again who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and. Who at the worst if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory or defeat.

I had a conversation lately with my mom about my decisions. And yes, there are have been mistakes, tears, failures, and starting over without knowing what’s going to happen. Lately though, I’ve realized how lucky I am that not once - not even ONE time did my parents tell me I couldn’t do it. That my business was risky and maybe I should realistically get 9-5 with benefits. Not once even through my frustrations did they give even a signal that the decision to want my business to be full time was something I should reconsider. It’s interesting, aside from relationships, she’s now once given a negative (or even really opinion) on what my life should be, a life-altering suggestion. And although as an adult sometimes I’ve begged for it through divorce and a bad a relationship after, she didn’t. When I thanked her recently, she said her and my step dad never thought I couldn’t do it, they knew I’d do what I had to. Find 2nd, 3rd, and 4th jobs to supplement me while I built a business. And that hearing that after the years of pain and struggling meant so much. And I pointed out that as a daughter that must have been hard for her- as a mom who wants to fix things, but she must have been sitting in that stand of my life arena, cheering and not wavering of her encouragement.

I know that isn’t true for many, in fact a LOT of people going after businesses, dreams, goals whatever they look like big or small tend to hear a LOT of people have opinions and really it’s just their own limiting beliefs that they put on the person going after the goal. Now, there were some people in the crowd that didn’t believe in me, some hoping I would fail for good, some rooting for me to fall down- but those- never mattered and they never will. As the quote said, they weren’t fighting the battle, they didn’t even know or understand the sweat and tears and behind the scenes work I did before showing up. And honestly, in the midst of working, I couldn’t hear them- they were too far to be considered important opinions. The ones I cared about knew not only the changes, but the struggle and hard work and didn’t waiver or say anything to distract from the goal.

Today I want to encourage you too- I know so many men and women who have health goals, business goals, financial goals, family goals, and no matter what you want your life to look like- there’s someone with limiting beliefs that project it on to you. Even when they have absolutely no right or idea what it’s like to be in the arena, fighting, working, and knowing how worth it, it really is- Daring Greatly along the way and stepping into who you were meant to be.

You may want to sew, learn all things circus, be a badass bread maker, stay at home with your kids and do something online to build money, build a business, and no matter what - someone will have something to say about it. But if we can silence the noise and realize that they are only projecting their limits onto you, in hopes you’ll settle, won’t become great, fail, or change course because it’s hard to see change in others that we see as one way and put them in a box- then we can know what’s it like to fight in the arena with our whole hearts.

I told a money number I wanted to make to a friend a few years back, it wasn’t an outrageous number but it still remains one I’m not close to.. yet. I’m not afraid to talk about money, we can only learn and grow when we talk about finances but this person projected his limited belief on money and got angry with me. Upset that I could possibly have that much and then asked me what I would do with “all that money, just go whale watching” mind you- this number would still leave me having to work and hard, but it would give me a leg up on a few things, but mostly- life woldn’t change day to day. It was through text, but luckily, I knew he wasn’t in the arena, his words didn’t affect my goals or my daily practices, but it DID make me laugh. Realizing maybe for the first time I was hearing a limited belief be put on me by someone else who didn’t believe it was possible - it didn’t change me for a moment. I would’ve felt bad laughing if I was in person, but I sat by my phone and laughed almost feeling bad that someone had that restriction on their life. But his goals aren’t mine and mine aren’t his. My passions were put purposefully on my heart and the ONLY thing that has change the trajectory is when I slowed myself down allowing relationship after my divorce in my life that weren’t filled with healthy encouragement. So only I slowed myself down.

What you want is put on your heart purposefully. Think about all we see online, in person, in magazines, every single day. People who have passions for SO many different things wanting to accomplish things that we may never understand- we aren’t meant to. We are meant to work on the things placed in our hearts, serve, love, and at the end of the day whether the day was victorious or feeling defeat, we are striving towards the things we know are meant just for us. It’s the things that light us up from the inside out. They’re made, just for us and no one can do them just like you- no matter how many other people like what you do- the way you do it- your connections, your impact can and will make a difference whether it’s for your family, a few, or thousands.

I want to be able to look back not ignoring the faults and stumbles, but seeing through them I still continued. The sweat and dust and tears, only brought me to my feet stronger and with clearer eyes- stronger heart- and one that can connect with others more easily because I too have experienced pain and suffering and temporarily failure now able to help someone else back up too.

Can we instead take time to quiet all the background noise and see only the thing in front of us, the thing we’re meant to work on- with vulnerability and courage do it daily- ignoring the naysayers and the ones who only project their own insecurities and limiting beliefs- for you never hear someone who’s doing more than you who’s also reaching for their goals doubt or think you shouldn’t. It’s only the critics, the ones not doing it that have the most negative things to say. The other ones in the arena, know. They know what’s on your heart can’t be stopped and the know how important it is, and ones doing just as much or more will never give you limiting beliefs, they’ll only be alongside you along the way saying YES absolutely do it, without end with calculated risks.

So when you get up today, when your first thought is to talk yourself out of reading, or listening to a podcast or learning or absorbing, or doing the thing you have your heart to share, do, build, work on- I encourage you to do it, get up, wipe off the dust and know that it’s never the critic in the stands who counts- they’re not the ones doing the work- they’re only judging and doing nothing. But instead take faith in your passions and knowing you’re doing exactly what you’re suppose to- you’re daring greatly.