It’s like starting from scratch. I had built something i thought was strong and it came tumbling down until all that was left were pieces. I had built healthy self confidence and self worth, I knew who i was and knew myself well. Then my world changed, everything i thought was foundation wasn’t any longer and the pieces i had built on top of it were scattered on the ground. I’m still picking up those pieces, some were lost for a while, buried beneath the dirt, some were broken and i’m finding my way to place them back together. The foundation i’m building for those things now isn’t being built as quickly as i’d like. I’ve become impatient and waiting on the foundation has been tough as i hold onto every piece that fell, and i can’t hold on much longer.
What i have found from heart break and hurt and stress, i need to continue to be as vulnerable with my heart as i was before. When people get hurt they tend to do 1 of 2 things. They either hide behind the hurt, never wanting to feel heart ache again, never revealing their whole self, protecting their heart to the point of not opening up. or they see the importance of vulnerability in any relationship and how beautiful it can be when that part is unveiled. I was the first for a while. While i healed, i shut down a little with my misunderstanding. But now i feel like i can not only see but feel peoples’ needs more. i can feel their hurting hearts and through that have had some of the best relationships. I’m extremely lucky with some women in my life that have seen my worst, and they show me what they think is their worst too. it makes for such a healing place and i know it’s scary to open up even with your closest friends but it’s powerful. i have the hardest laughs, tears that let my guard down, and hugs that heal.
Starting from scratch with re-building you is never going to be easy, but i want to encourage you to not be afraid to reveal your heart to the ones you trust, it unveils beauty and connects hearts. As i’m re-building my foundation, i’ve handed off some of the pieces i couldn’t carry any longer to women i love to hold onto them safely as i build, so when it’s time for all the pieces, i know exactly where they are and they’ll be held together until i’m ready to keep building. Handing them off can seem daunting, those are yours and you never want people to see the broken parts of you, but it will ease your burden and lighten your load so you can focus on the foundation.
Vulnerability is strength and unveiling it is beauty.