No. I don't have kids. So, no i won't be talking about this from a mother's point of view. I understand that i don't have the knowledge and experience of restless nights with kids, having them scream and be crazy all day long along with crapping all over, tugging and never having a break. I will however be talking about this from a daughter's perspective and how it influences children. Not only do i have great experience from that, i've recently learned how it positively is affecting me as an adult too. This is not an article saying that one specific size is beautiful or the way to be, it's how you respect and love yourself enough to take care of the body you were given.
Background story time.My mom has always been beautiful. Not just on the outside, but she has always been shining light, love, confidence, and beauty. Before 2007 my mom was 55 lbs heavier than she is now. (pic to the left was 2005) At the time, i never noticed she was heavy, it truly wasn't until she lost the weight that i realized it. Looking back, it still doesn't feel like it except when i hug her i can feel how tiny she is!
Something that's been popping up in my books lately is how mothers saying negative things about their bodies have affect on their young daughters and how they view themselves. Goodness, i had to really think back to when i was young, and what my mom was saying about herself. i discovered something. she not once that i can remember said anything negative about her body or how she viewed herself. (At least not in front of me!) there was that one time a hairdresser fried her hair and it fell out.. i do remember that, but that wasn't about her body image. i'm so blessed to have a mom who saw her self positively and even on days where maybe she didn't... she didn't tell her young daughter how fat she felt or things she needed to change.
how did this affect me? i didn't struggle with beauty or viewing myself or her any differently. young girls think their moms are beautiful. i lived my life was confident in who i was. yes yes, i was teased, it affected me and made me sad, but from the person it meant most from, i was loved and was told i was lovely. i also was the girl who danced in front of the tv to get my parents attention and asking "am i pretty" for fun. (read Captivating and this will make total sense.)
Whew okay back to taking care of yourself. my mom didn't miss one game, or anything else i was involved in, and i'm so thankful for that, she also took care of herself even when her size was a little bigger. she loved to have beautiful things, and look lovely. this isn't in vain, this is dressing for how you feel on the inside. she is GORGEOUS on the inside, and so it reflected outwardly. I think it's perfectly acceptable to take a few minutes for yourself to look good. in fact i encourage it, you'll feel more confident because you're taking pride in yourself. It'll show your daughter, that you're worth taking some time on yourself too.
One of my sisters just had a baby! Chloe is about a month young.Being around her for a short while, i can confidently tell you.. she's a great mom. She loves on her, kisses her, is attentive, and so excited about being a mom, her life is about being a good mommy. She had the okay to work out for the first time, and as soon as it was okay.. she went to the gym. Does this make the 45 minutes away from her baby mean her baby is not a priority? No. i think it's the exact opposite. we talked about for Crissie, it's good to take time for yourself too. Being mommy is number one and there are going to be days where she really can't go because it's a tough day, but she said how much more energy she has after going and how that means she can give that energy and time to her baby. She's taking care of herself to better her baby's life. Example from me: i was exhausted the other morning knowing i had to do a morning workout, yuck. but afterward, i had SO much energy for the day, i literally danced in front of the mirror getting ready. no joke, this happens often. It helps if i make myself think positive about me too.. i can't focus on the things i'd like to fix.
so my mom Starla and i have had some wonderful conversations lately. I asked her about when she weighed more, and she said she noticed the sizes going up, but still always felt lovely, it wasn't when she hit her personal "scary size" (every woman has one) that she decided to make a change. This change didn't happen overnight, although it seemed it from my end. what did she do to lose the weight? She started working out, she still made her kids a priority. for over a year she went to the gym a couple times a week and she began eating healthier. At first it wasn't even eating super healthy, it was simply cutting back the amount of food to eat. Now she eats healthier, those baby steps she made has become habit. she still goes to the gym, there are times where she can't, and that's okay! She looks beautiful, and that's still from the inside out. She still shines from the inside, but now she feels more confident, and is more active, she's taking care of the one body she was given.
And as an adult, i respect and look up to her even more now because of it. Our relationship has shifted lately, we're more of friends and then she's the mom. So we can talk about our bodies differently now, there are things we've talked about to work on, she's come to me for advice on how to tone up certain parts, and i love it. We also can encourage one another and be a cheerleader for one another's accomplishments. But overall, we still talk about ourselves in a positive way (even on days girl brain kicks in and i feel like a fatty.)
so why is it important to take care of yourselves? Mostly it's about how you SEE yourself. It will allow your daughter to see herself more positively, feel more confident, feel secure, see how she should love and respect her body. you talk positively and show her, she will love herself too. i had an example i didn't even realize, that i thought of myself as good enough, because my mom did too. It also can prolong your life if you eat and take care of yourself, which means more time with your kids. It allows your children to respect you when they're older too, and they're more likely to take care of themselves. Again, i'm not saying you need to lose weight to take care of your body. Maybe going to the gym 3-4 times a week just isn't going to happen, beauty happens at all sizes. Eat a little better, talk about yourself positively and maybe go on a few walks with your kids, even as adults... they love it.do more activities and less tv. It's important to be mommy and that is a huge priority but don't forget to respect your body too, it does have an affect on kids.