I am responsible- Shine Podcast
Repeat after me… I am responsible for my life- no matter the external circumstances.
I know this is a tough subject, but listen below: How we choose our struggles and how if we’re not willing to struggle for the reward- we don’t really want the reward.
What i love about reading and continuing to better myself is this- i find i’m wrong about a lot of things and i have no shame in finding that out. it’s almost like this part of my brain gets to be opened up when i had no idea that door was there in the first place.
The current book i’m reading is doing that for me in a new way. I read a lot of good books, they have useful, encouraging, motivating information, but after a few start to sound similar and watered down, i know it’s time to switch it up for a bit. I went with something more blunt and a different angle to self-help seeing it not as learning something and then being right, but just a little less wrong with each thing i learn.
i so wish we could all learn these things together and have those ah-ha moments, but instead i can just share what i’m learning, doing, and then have a great conversation about it in hopes that the more conversations i’ll have the less wrong i’ll be in the future about.. well everything. that’s sounds a little hippie dippie but. i liked the concept i read that when we learn we aren’t done learning and we’re not quote right for learning the new thing but maybe a little less wrong. and then the next thing we learn just makes us again a little less wrong. It brought me some clarity about a lot of inner things including that 1- you should definitely read the subtle art of not giving an EFF and 2- the things i share might not be the whole truth in the future for life and that’s okay. Cause we’re learning.
Alright so what things have i been wrong about? or maybe just less right is a better way to say it- it’s hard to pin point but it’s how i sometimes see and perceive self improvement. we all have what it takes to do the thing that’s on our hearts- but it’s hard to grasp but not all are going to do it. because the thing on our hearts that we want has to be wanted so badly that we’re willing to struggle for it- if we want the reward but not the struggle- we dont’ really want it. sinking in some maybe harder to hear quotes today. think about that- if we aren’t really to struggle, we dont’ really want it. All struggles look different, but there is going to be some push back no matter the goal. i still think we all have passions that we want to lead with, but unless we’re willing to struggle, fail, fall on our faces, and hear no a lot.. it probably won’t what you go after.
Today i want to get into the statement that we are responsible for everything in our lives- no matter the external circumstances.
Rather than peeling the onion that is our self-awareness to really understand our own issues, short-comings, and places where we have lacked. i read that this layer is so deep that most don’t ever reach it. it’s a 3rd and 4th layer of understanding not just why do we think this way, but what do we do because of the why that we think this way and then.. why is that such an issue for us. the quote the accurate measure of one’s self worth is how people feel about the negative aspects of themselves really hit me during this thought. it’s not the good things i can point out, but what about the negative things… what do i think about those?
And if so, self-improvement may just be really about prioritizing better values, better things to care about and not just improving the thing that already is pointed out as “good.”
I know i know, some bosses really aren’t great, and some significant other’s really drag people down, and yup definitely know that parents can be a source of heartache for a while- but let’s start to grasp that maybe the reaction, the growth, and the subtle art of not giving a FUCK is actually whats going to get you beyond blaming others for your shortcomings. I could easily blame a parent for some negative aspects in life- but after counseling, self-improvement, forgiveness without expecting an apology and also just choosing not to give a crap because it doesn’t deserve my energy- i’m happy. Truly happy in that area of life. I’m choosing to give a crap about things that matter to my present and my future, not my past.
I am responsible for my life and that’s scary and sometimes a hard pill to swallow but we could also think of it like this… ready? you are responsible which means.. they dont’ have to have a hold on your success, your failures, your shortcomings, your passions, dreams, and what you accomplish. set your sights and goals on the things that matter. but it’s our perception on the bad hand we’ve been dealt that often is what actually holds us back
I chose to struggle in a new state, starting over with a business that sometimes takes years to take off. but i choose it everyday that i’m the boss. I could go get the 9-5 and then i’d struggle with something else. But it’s my struggle and for me- it’s worth it. it was worth the tears and doubts starting over, and it’s worth the unknowing. And not every person is going to choose the same struggles- we all choose our own.
which leads me to this point - struggle and failing are necessary for development. one of the first easy example to use is when a child is first starting to walk. they don’t give up and say “whelp i guess walking isn’t for me” after falling down- they keep falling and keep getting up. the more i thought about it- it’s a learned behavior- whether it’s parents who don’t allow for failure, school systems, or even our peers when we’re first younger and into adulthood when we’re punished for failures. But read about any successful businessperson, speaker, author. The struggle is part of their rise. It’s part of not failing per say but figuring out what doesn’t work and what worked to get them to reach their goals. and. i’ve heard it time and again that we should view our failures not as failures but ways that it didn’t work- eliminating those steps and finding out which ones help us, our goals.
so many adults are afraid of the next step, whether it’s applying for a job (because the one that they hate is still paying the bills, they dont’ want to get uncomfortable) or starting a business- especially if it doesn’t get as big as we hope, networking because it’s a vulnerable process of business and we’re forced to stand confidently with our product or service- but it’s really truly the only way. I’ve even come to terms with this thought.. think of the worst thing that could actually happen if it failed. for me, i would have to get a different job. So big deal- i’ve done it before and can always figure it out again if money comes up short.
it’s absolutely a scary thing but it’s also a beautiful thing- we are responsible. for our actions, who we keep close with, our habits, and over all our life. And if you ask me, life is too short to pass with words, goals, and things still in our mind that we never shared with the world- so why not put them out there?
Keep Shining
